So I got asked to sub teach tomorrow. Granted it was for kindergarten, but that really wasn't the issue. We really need the money, but who was going to watch the baby? The principal's wife (a woman I know) offered to watch the baby without pay...which was really generous seeing as how she has two at home already and several of her own that she has to get ready for school in the morning.
Yeah, when it came down to making the decision, I burst into tears. I'm just not ready to be away from her for that long. Even when I went back to teaching when she was 12 weeks old, I wasn't away from her for as long as I'd be tomorrow. What if that ended my nursing relationship? It was REALLY hard on her (and the rest of us) when I went back to teaching. It just brought back horrible memories and I just couldn't go back there. $70...shoot, all the money in the world....isn't worth going back to school....
Sound irrational? Especially with people who are willing to leave their babies for weeks? No. I know that motherhood is a vocation. It's who I am. It's not me selling out or giving in. There is some self-denial...but honestly, this country could use some more self-denial. But there's nothing in my life more important than making sure that my baby has the most sound foundation and formation possible....and leaving her for $70 isn't part of that equation.
