Friday, May 30, 2008

Oh What a Feeling!

Wow, I just don't know what to think. I'm having another baby! I think....peed on the double lines....twice....but one was really faint. The directions said that's ok, but still. Got blood drawn yesterday. Waiting for the results.

I'm having such mixed feelings. I would never say it's easy with M, but honestly, it was a pretty uneventful pregnancy and she's been such a healthy, happy baby. And she and I get along. What if the next one isn't like that? What if I'm sick all the time and Ben won't help me? What if Mom's dissapointed in me and gives me her passive-aggressive grief?

B's so excited he can hardly stand it. Perhaps it's just because I'm sick. Oh, I'm sick by the by. It just figures, right?

Of course I want this baby. Babies are amazing and I want a litter (though not all at the same time!). But I like how things are right now. I dont' want to deny my sweet baby (the one on the outside) my full love and attention. I know, I know, your heart doesn't divide, it multiplies...yadda yadda yadda. Still doesn't keep me from being fickle and worried about it.

And what if I'm not even preggers? What if the tests were wrong? That would really suck to tell people.

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