Friday, January 17, 2014

The Sound of Silence

"Silence is the root of our union with God and with one another. In silence we are filled with the energy of God Himself that makes us do all things in joy. The more we receive in silent prayer, the more we can give in our active life. Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta

 Ahhh, Mother Teresa. So wise were you. So true are your words....especially today. With four children, two dogs and a busy husband, it is rarely silent here. In fact, I had copied the above quote on my phone and was going to shoot it out as a quick Facebook quip along with a witty bit about my newly realized introversion....and then I thought, "The baby is sleeping upstairs and the big kids are in the other room. I'm gonna sit here and write a..." "MOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!" Since then, it's been a word here then a hunt for underwear (they have 82 pairs between them, but today, apparently. they're out), a few "get off me"s and "go sit at the table with your (dutifully homemade, grain free, soaked nuts that you-will-eat-and-love-so-help-me-God!) muffins, with a "I know that's your button on Mommy's computer but please don't touch it right now, Mommy is working!" thrown in for good measure.

But I digress....silence.

I also can't help but wonder if the intentional paragraphing I've done in writing this is even going to show up when I save it. The last several times I've written, it's just come out in one big, uneducated blob. Drives. Me. Crazy.

So, the Mother Teresa quote strikes me on so many levels.

Yoga is all the rage these days and I'm just not into it...for some very intentional reasons...that I'll happily share with you, but not in this entry. However, the breathing and the stretching and the promise of peace is enticing for sure. "In the silence we are filled with the energy of God Himself that makes us do all things in joy." Ahhhhhhhh. As a newly realized introvert, I'm understanding more and more why that speaks to me. I always figured I was an extrovert. I love attention and don't mind speaking in public (though I'd prefer a group of 30 adolescents to a room of 10 adults). I've always been a natural take-charge person and a joiner. But not all that long ago, I read a different view of intro/ had to do, not with preferences, but where you get your energy. My husband, the serious extravert's, feels depressed when we have had people over and they leave. When the last person leaves (and both of us hope it's been a good, long visit...ideally with a bit of a houseful that slowly dwindles to one last person or family), I smile and exhale. He frowns and slumps. He was truly energized by them being in our home....I had to gear up for it. I loved it...but it drained me. I need to carve out some quiet time for myself each day. Maybe it's setting the kids up for lunch and sitting in the other room by myself for a few minutes. Maybe it's sitting for a few moments while Hubby puts the kids to bed.

I'm learning to slow down a little now that I have four kids.  Sometimes it just takes more effort than I can muster to schlep four kids a lot of places. I'm learning that just pushing through until it's finished isn't always the best way to tackle a problem...and lands me with mastitis....

It's kind of scary to uncover new parts of myself, but it's also exciting. Thanks for sharing it with me.

1 comment:

Jessica said...

I like being around other people - but I definitely get more out of it when I can mostly observe, pop in when I feel like it, feel like a part of the group, but a quiet part.

Maybe that's why I like Montessori - I don't have to be "on" all the time - I can observe, work with a few children at a time, move about, be part of it all --- by supporting the work and the experience not "creating it" and "forcing it" so to speak.

I also enjoy being in my little cave and just watching out to the rest of the world ;)