Thursday, July 29, 2010

I lost my keys

So, to say we lost the baby last week sounds so strange. It's not like a few months ago when I *lost* my keys. When *someone* (ahem, Su) stuffed them so deep in the couch that it took a week and another round of kids rough-housing to surface them. And it's not like when I *lost* a game of Yahtzee to Benny (and only one, folks. I creamed him the second game. The rubber match is still TBD). So what happened. My baby died. Sounds so dramatic. I had a miscarriage. So technical. Spontaneous abortion (that's what it said on the hospital order both times I had blood drawn last week). I cringe even seeing that word and NEVER want it attached to me or any of my children.

So what do I say? "Oh what beautiful flowers, Sarah!" (thanks to my MIL) "What's the occasion?" Well, death, miscarriage, loss, a.....

Should have posted a photo of the flowers before they started to droop. But honestly, it's fitting. Right now, they're kind of like my week last week. A little sad, but still beautiful and a reminder of something you can't touch.

Are we going to do this every time we "lose" a child? Kinda feel like we should since we would do even more if one of our children died after she was born. No one would think it was odd to have a funeral and some kind of memorial. Yet I wonder what people would think if they knew we had a priest do a mini funeral in our home on Sunday after our Enthronement. Kinda wonder what people would think of the Enthronement :) I think the image is a little off because I don't like the expression on Mary's face. But I'm totally behind the meaning and love love love that it came from my hubby. God bless the Coniker family and Catholic Familyland. You've done wonders for my family!

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