This was my response to "The Spiritual Dimension of Nighttime Parenting". I am not posting this for you (though I don't care if you read it...hense publicly posting it), just for postarity because I think it has some important feelings in it for me.
The original post is http://sortacrunchy.typepad.com/sortacrunchy/2010/08/the-spiritual-dimension-of-nighttime-parenting.html#comment-6a00e54fb985aa88330134860a058f970c
I have tears in my eyes as I read this. My first, now 3 1/2, was and is an amazing sleeper. I didn't know how good I had it. I'd hear other moms talk about not getting enough sleep and I'm thinking, yeah, I get up too, you're exaggerating or being selfish. After all, my first was well past a year old before she slept "through the night"....but the process was simple: she just slept longer and longer on her own as time went by until it eventually lasted until the sun came up.
My second is a different story. She's 18 mos old....and I count it as amazing when bedtime is before 10:00 and she sleeps past midnight. I intentionally don't have a clock in my room, because I don't want to know how short a time it's been since the last time she woke. There are nights I think my husband is going to strangle both of us. When I'm good, I think of and pray for and offer my struggles for all of the women who are up at the same time as me...or the women who have lost babies or who can't get pregnant.
On the bad nights, I curse under my breath....or not under my breath and chuck the baby at my unsuspecting husband (who can't go to work with dark circles under his eyes) while I leave the room for a moment.
You're spot on about receiving the Grace when we need it and not before. And I appreciate you giving words to it. When we did a little math and realized that at past a year old, my second was nursing every hour to hour and a half at night....even sleeping with us....or without us, it didn't matter. No one was getting any sleep and we were falling apart. Again, when I'm good, I remember (and I'm not down-playing the significance of it at all...just trying to have perspective) that, in the grand scheme of life, losing sleep at night for a few years even isn't allll that bad....and totally worth it for my sweet baby girl.
Thank you for your post.